The Courting Game
by HowObjectionable
Summary: With the Spring Dance at Ouran fast approaching, the Host Club has a new contest – the one who gets Haruhi to come as their date wins a prize of their choice. So let the games begin…
1. The Courting Game

**For any of you who are reading this and wondering why I haven't updated my DWJ fics, I will, as soon as I get over my writers block for that particular set of books. Back to this story now, I really have to stop drinking sugary drinks before bed, because I have dreams, and if I have dreams they usually end up something like this…**

**Prolouge**

_With the Spring Dance at Ouran fast approaching, the Host Club has a new contest – the one who gets Haruhi to come as their date wins a prize of their choice._

_So let the games begin…_

**The Courting Game**

_Take 1: Tamaki_

"Haruhi…" Tamaki said, sitting down beside her.

"Yes?" Haruhi replied, not looking up from her book.

"Did you know that my name, Suoh Tamaki, means 'One who becomes a king because he is destined to'?"

"You may have mentioned it…"

"And did you know that the name Haruhi means 'she who shall be his queen?'"

"No it doesn't, Senpai, it means spring day." Haruhi replied, turning the page. "Now go away, I'm trying to study."

Tamaki launched back into his corner and didn't come out for an hour.

_Take 1: Tamaki – FAILED_

* * *

_Take 2: Takashi_

Takashi walked towards Haruhi. Upon his shadow practically engulfing her, she looked up. He held out a bouquet of roses.

"They look as if they're about to die, Mori-senpai. Why don't you put them in some water?"

_Take 2: Takashi – FAILED._

* * *

_Take 3: Mitsukuni_

"Haru-chan! Haru-chan!"

"What is it?"

"Will you eat cake with me? At the dance?"

Haruhi smiled at him. "Sorry, Hani-senpai, I don't like cake all that much."

_Take 3: Mitsukuni – FAILED_

* * *

_Take 4: Kaoru_

"Ne, Haruhi!"

"What is it, Kaoru?" Haruhi asked, sighing as she put down her book yet again.

"Will you go on a date with me?"

"Haven't we had this conversation before? And didn't I end up with Hikaru? No thank you. Now, I'm _trying _to study."

_Take 4: Kaoru – FAILED_

* * *

_Take 5: Hikaru_

"Haruhi, will you dance with me?"

"Now's not exactly a good time, Hikaru."

"No! I meant at the-"

"Would you please stop bothering me? I really have to revise for this test."

_Take 5: Hikaru – FAILED_

* * *

_Take 6: Kyouya_

"Haruhi."

"What?"

"Come to the Spring Dance as my partner and I'll cut your debt by a third."

"Done. Now can I _please _get some peace to study?"

_Take 6: Kyouya – SUCCESS._

_**Epilogue**_

_After this episode, Tamaki's corner had to widen to fit in the rest of the Host Club. Haruhi did go as Kyouya's date to the party, but she was her cousin Natsumi, something which lead the other members to believe that it was a good thing Tamaki hadn't won as he still hadn't completely grasped this concept._

_Kyouya's chosen prize was that the rest of the Host Club were to be his slaves for the next week._

_Three days later, Kyouya found some way to increase Haruhi's debt yet again. And so the cycle went on._

**I can't say it's my best, but please review!**


	2. The Clear Up

**The Clear Up**

Kyouya: It has come to my attention that there have been some questions about this fanfiction…and since the lazy author can't be bothered, she's hired me to answer them.

Me: I'm not _lazy_, Kyou-chan, I just like having you in the same room as me! TAKE OFF YOUR GLASSES!

Kyouya: No.

Me: (emo pose in corner)

First, About Haruhi's speedy answer.

Kyouya: Haruhi replied so quickly because I was very clever in the way I went about it. I took her weakness and used it to my advantage.

Me: Plus the fact she'd been hassled by all the other club members first. I bet Kyouya deliberately went last, ne Kyou-chan?

Kyouya: Perhaps.

Me: Take off your glasses, please? I'll take mine off! It's not like it's your shirt! Or anything else...

Kyouya: I'll add to your debt if you don't stop it.

Me: I'm not in debt to you!

Kyouya: _Everyone _is in debt to me.

Second, about Haruhi being her cousin Natsumi

Kyouya: Don't you people read?

Me: Don't be rude, don't be rude mom! Haruhi doesn't, in fact, have a cousin named Natsumi.

Kyouya: She might, for all you know.

Me: I thought Tama-chan was the annoying one? Anyway, in the manga, at the Ouran School festival, Hikaru and Kaoru tell Haruhi about Tamaki's past and then proceed to 'dress her up!' as a girl.

Kyouya: (losing interest, but not missing a chance to put me down) She _is _a girl.

Me : (ignoring) Renge's otaku sensors ring and she finds Haruhi, and demands if (s)he is into cross dressing. The twins cover up and announce that she(Haruhi) is not in fact Haruhi, but Haruhi's cousin Natsumi.

Later, Tamaki sees Haruhi and says something that I can't remember, to which Haruhi replies 'I'm currently my cousin Natsumi'. Tamaki exclaims and apologises, and Haruhi tries to explain that she isn't really, but Tamaki never really seems to get it.  
Good explaination, ne, mom?

Kyouya: You talk far too much.

Me: (To the corner again)

Kyouya : Are we done here? We're burning money with this pointless discussion.

Me: Rich bloomin' miser.

(screen cuts out)(Ha, we broke your computer)


End file.
